Starship Troopers 2 and 3

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation

Started out looking like some horribly low budget Blip.tv show, then settled into a horrible low budget SyFy Original. Until they showed nipples, then it suddenly became bloody and crazy, to the point of cutting off a head with a meat cleaver, then sticking said head into a microwave.

The concept of the plot was sound, and even interesting. The whole thing about the bugs taking over humans could have been great if it were written in any competent way. However, they either found the worst writers they could, or simply had one of the terrible actors take a crack at it; either way, the plot was wasted.

Terribly acted, terrible special effects, terrible practical effects, terrible plot... I should have known not to watch it the moment I saw that LEDs on the guns were the actual effect they used to show weapons fire.

Whoever watched this travesty and greenlit it to be pressed to DVDs or uploaded to the Internet should be shot in the ass with a crossbow.


Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

Right off the bat, I want to say that the CGI in this film looks somehow cheaper than that in the second film, which had a 7 million dollar budget compared to this ones 20 million. But at the same time, they had multiple times more special effects than the second film, so I suppose it was a case of stretching it as far as they could. Plus they had many more physical sets. And guns that didn't use LEDs to show shooting effects. Though the guns in this film were comically large and obviously made of plastic.

Anyway, I've read several reviews of this film and many give it flak for not being "as good" as the first film and not being faithful to the book. Which is hilarious when you think about it, as the first film was heavily criticized for not being at all faithful to the book. So how is it that people can now praise the first film and call this bad because it did exactly what the first film did? I haven't seen Invasion yet, nor have I read anything about it but I wonder, will people be giving this film praise and calling that one out on not being faithful to the book as well?

But enough of that, on to the movie itself... and, well, it's meh. It's better than the second film to be sure, but I'll let you in on a secret; I haven't seen the first film completely, and it's been years since I last saw any of it. I know the ending and bits, but I cannot say with all proper due if this is better or worse than the first. But I can say that it's not an amazing film. It's nowhere near as painful as the second film, a point I'm sure I'll belabor a few more times before this is done.

The return of Rico is a big selling point of the movie, but again didn't see the first one completely, so maybe I'm missing out on something here. Not that it matters much; he's barely in the film for more than maybe 20 minutes all told in what's about 96 minutes without credits. His performance isn't anything to write home about, a fact I'm confused by because so many say his acting is one of the few good points in the film. But he's one of the many average, not very noteworthy performances in the film; in a film ripe for scene stealing nobody could deliver. Instead we get generic tougher soldier woman, a woman with a thick accent trying real hard to speak English, the paper pusher who is by the numbers and doesn't understand the real nature of war and people you wish would die... but to say if they do or not would ruin all the fun of sitting through this.

The action, what little there is, is much better than the second film, but it's separated by long, boring stretches of... get ready for it... walking in the desert. Congratulations, you were doing in 2008 what they had been doing in Stargate for years, only much worse because that show actually was interesting. And you know, that show had a much better play on religion as well.

Yeah, the elephant in the room that is religion. Now, I'm not sure if they were mocking it or not. I'm pretty sure they were, and in the end they were making a statement about using it to control the masses. But at the same time, several characters seemed to be genuinely convinced of their faith and conversion (as well as the acting allowed, anyway). I'm not quite sure if that was an under the table stab at those with faith or their attempt at trying to not be as offensive.

So, as an action movie it's not very action heavy. As a sequel it's better than 2, but I cannot say anything about 1. As an effects movie... ha ha ha no. As a movie overall, it's poor; the action is little and far between, the effects are horrible, the guns are made of plastic and something you would seem in slight miniature, packaged with cheap action figures from the Dollar Store/Tree/whatever or Poundland or any other super cheap store that sells them. The acting isn't anything special, the plot is generic and, while not painful to sit through, it's just an overall not enjoyable experience.

Guess I gotta watch Starship Troopers now to see where I stand with that. And Invasion. Though, being Japanese... well... let's just leave it at that.